Build your own Five Year Forward View - a satirical plan

From: - Julian Patterson


The Five Year Forward View is a beautiful, intricate model of the future loosely based on a real view. It was popular as soon as it appeared. Every politician and senior manager had a copy. Everybody liked it because it made the future sound lovely, particularly if you closed your eyes while reading it.

Quick to spot its mass market potential, the publishers rushed out a sequel called the GP Forward View, which allowed family doctors to imagine they had a future too.

Now you can build your own forward view in just 260 fun-to-collect parts. Build Your Own Forward View is from the same people who brought you Become a World Class Commissioner in 5000 Easy Steps and NHS Reform for Dummies.

Every fortnight a new part will be published on the NHS England website. Once you’ve collected all 260 you’ll be able to construct an impressive scale model of what the NHS might look like in future, complete with realistic details such as streamlined hospitals that don’t require propping up with extra cash, patients who rarely become ill and a social care system that hasn’t imploded.

But remember, this is not a plan, which means it doesn’t come with instructions and is not guaranteed to work. That’s what makes it such fun!

The set includes:

  • Ready-made chapter headings such as “Meeting the challenge”, “Working with stakeholders” and “Realising the vision”
  • A cliche generator app to “kick-start” the most pedestrian ideas and “pump-prime” any hackneyed concept – even a complete non-starter
  • A suite of self-assembly new care models – each one comes with its own framework and a small tube of glue. All you have to do is figure out how it all fits together and supply any missing parts
  • Replacement professional action figures (please note that stocks of GP and nurse figures may be limited until 2022).

Your finished model will be the envy of all your friends and better than anything they’ve seen in the US, Sweden or New Zealand.

Issue one of Build Your Own Forward View is out now, priced at just £10 billion, and includes a pop-up accountable care organisation and a working model of an MCP contract (warning: not legally binding). Prices for subsequent issues will be made up as we go along.

Start collecting now!

Warning to parents: contains several unlikely parts which may pose a choking hazard.

Part-works editor:  Julian Patterson

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Comments include:

Dec 02, 2016 03:08 PM   Julian Patterson: I may be deluding myself, but I believe the blog occasionally penetrates the Skipton House firewall and may even reach SS himself.